the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
