Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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