How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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