we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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