You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
