But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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