What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
only you would photoshop your dick
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize