Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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