That's intense
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
