He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
