Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
