"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
