oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
