you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize