I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Randomize
