Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
