im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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