Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
