I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
