Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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