I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
