I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize