I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Damn victory sex feels great
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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