Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize