He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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