oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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