I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
