Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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