Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize