she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
