Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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