The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
