batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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