They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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