I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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