i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
