Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
