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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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