if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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