I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
