Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
this is an emotional support booty call
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize