No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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