woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
