I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
