i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
