Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
