The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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