Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
