So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
