so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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