Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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