i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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