Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
