i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
