Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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