yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
