I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
