I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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