new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
