I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
His hands were made for my vagina.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
