We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
