did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
