So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
