i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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