Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
