Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think my fart just growled at me.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
