He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Moan for me like Helen Keller
we're chasing vodka with high fives
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
